Sunday, March 20, 2011

Everyone together now…aww…..

My mom said my blog is depressing, so I thought I would post some stuff to make you say aww.


How about this  mama dog in a fancy dog bed…come on y’all know that is cute…


And now there is nothing cuter than a puppy in a plate of food…

Everyone together now…..


Thursday, March 17, 2011

Taken Advantage Of

I made the decision to consult with a new RE (reproductive endocrinologist) not because I think this new doctor will give me a new diagnosis, but rather because I have lost faith that my old/current RE is keeping my best interest at heart.

To say that I am frustrated would be an understatement. I am upset and I feel like they took advantage of me. I was never one of those patients to call a ton, complain, and push them, well apparently that meant they could push my needs off. They made decisions without consulting me and would go weeks without returning my calls.

Switching to a new clinic at this point is that LAST thing that I wanted, but I have no faith in my old clinic. It makes me sad, I loved the doctor but his staff was horrible.

I hate this feeling. On top of everything that I am going through I have to add on the stress of switching and feeling taken advantage of.

Oh the frustration! I just want this all to be over. I hate endometriosis, I hate tumors, I hate cancer antigens, and I hate it when people don’t do their jobs.

Please pray that I feel peace with this new doctor and new clinic. I am searching for God’s will and I am struggling making sense of it all.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Obsessing About Labels

For some reason today I cannot stop thinking about labels. Everyone has them (good or bad) and everyone labels other people (good or bad).

Some of my labels are clear:

  • Daughter
  • Sister
  • Friend
  • Teacher
  • Loved
  • Child of God
  • Saved

Some of my other labels aren’t so cut and dry:

  • Happy
  • Sad
  • Sick
  • Depressed
  • Strong
  • Anxious
  • Lucky

Then there are the labels that I could do without:

  • Endometriosis Sufferer
  • Infertile
  • Single
  • 28
  • Overweight
  • Lazy

But there is also those labels that I so desperately hope to have:

  • Wife
  • Mother
  • Healthy
  • Soulmate
  • Thin
  • Happy
  • Content

I guess our lives are nothing but a series of labels, both ones we attach to ourselves and ones given to us, and as we go through our journey we just have to deal with the labels as they come.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Had to Back Off

My blog was turning into nothing but a place for me to whine, and have a pity party. I don’t want this to be the place where all I do is say “poor me; why is this happening to me; blah blah blah”. So I had to back away and deal with my junk somewhere else.

This post will be something different. I want this post to be about blessings. Yes the bad stuff is still there, but I don’t want to talk about that. I want to proclaim all the blessing God has giving me and shows me on a daily basis.

First, my family is amazing. They show nothing but support and bend over backwards to help me.

Secondly, I have fantastic friends that show me support, love, and kindness. They understand the bad and show me love. They rejoice in my successes and allow me to rejoice in theirs. I have friends that I feel confident won’t just run away.

Third, my job(s) allow me to follow my passion. I love what I do and I love the people I work with. Again, in this struggle my employers and coworkers have been nothing but astoundingly understanding and compassionate. I am so lucky.

Fourth, I have had the opportunity to have awesome adventures lately. I am lucky that I am able to get out and enjoy life.

Mostly, I am thankful. Life is good, despite the bad. The bad will not equal destruction.