I Never Would Have Thought

Even with everything I went through in the past, I really could have never imagined I be here.

I didn't think I would be making appointments with fertility specialists. I didn’t think I would need more surgery. I didn’t think I would need 6 months of injections before surgery.

I never thought I would be sitting here praying that  someday I  hope I will get to be a mommy. I never thought I would be sitting here praying that someone will still want to marry me. I never thought I would be sitting here praying to see God’s plan.

I never would have thought I would have so much support from family and friends. I never would have thought how blessed I truly am. I never would have thought I could have been more thankful for my loved ones.

Even though I never would have thought I would be in this struggle, I still  have faith. Faith in God, faith in His plan, faith in who I am, and who I am going to be. I will trust. I will wait. I will rely on Him.

Life Updates in a Bulleted List

• The new school year has started
• I love my new group of 3rd graders
• I love teaching math…..I’m still in shock over that one
• I cut my hair really short
• My second job makes me tired
• I am the student council sponsor
• My purse got stolen
• Pawpaw turned 80
• My brother moved home
• My friends are amazing
• I need to plan my next trip/make more travel plans
• I am fully aware that I am a bad blogger
• Twitter is my latest obsession
• It is less than a month until my birthday

Dichotomy

Everything- BuckCherry Buried way beneath the sheets I think she's having a meltdown Finding it hard to fall asleep She won't let anyone help her The look on her face, a waste of time She won't let go, gonna roll the dice Losing her grace, starts to cry I feel her pain when I look in her I wanna be I want everything, I want everything Somewhere she is on the streets Trying to make things better Praying to God and breathing deep Gotta break this long obsession The look on her face, a waste of time She won't let go, gonna roll the dice Losing her grace, starts to cry I feel her pain when I look in her I wanna be I want everything, I want everything I wanna be I want everything, I want everything, yeah If I had everything would I still want to be alive Or wanna be high? If I had everything would I still want to be alive Or want to be high? Now and then she talks to me And sometimes writes me letters The look on her face, a waste of time She won't let go, gonna roll the dice Losing her grace, starts to cry I feel her pain when I look in her Your eyes, never close your eyes And open up your mind and then baby You can have everything, everything Your eyes, never close your eyes And open up your mind and then baby You can have everything

Beautiful Beautiful- Francesca Battistelli Don’t know how it is You looked at me And saw the person that I could be Awakening my heart Breaking through the dark Suddenly Your grace Like sunlight burning at midnight Making my life something so Beautiful, beautiful Mercy reaching to save me All that I need You are so Beautiful, beautiful Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain But even perfect days can end in rain And though it’s pouring down I see You through the clouds Shining on my face Like sunlight burning at midnight Making my life something so Beautiful, beautiful Mercy reaching to save me All that I need You are so Beautiful, beautiful I have come undone But I have just begun Changing by Your grace Like sunlight burning at midnight Making my life something so Beautiful, beautiful Mercy reaching to save me All that I need You are so Beautiful, beautiful

These are 2 very different songs that I currently have playing on repeat. I think this dichotomy really shows where my head is at right now. I am kind of all over the place. But not scattered in a bad way….just in a way that means I need to make some choices. Choice is always I good thing. I just hope I choose right.

I am sure that I have thoroughly confused my IRL (in real life) friends, but oh well.

Disclaimer: These are obviously song lyrics that I in no way wrote. I credit the artists…duh

Wordless Wednesday- It was nice while it lasted :D

Wordless Wednesday- Tomorrow I will be here

Stream of Randomness

I have started using Windows Live Writer to blog and I LOVE IT!! It definitely easy to use and it makes formatting so much easier than using Blogger.

I just moved. I didn’t tell ya’ll that. Yep I moved…again. I usually move about every 2 years but it had only been a year since my last move this time. Oh well, I love my new place. I am getting to be quite the moving expert.

My first summer off as a teacher has been a rousing success. I am a HUGE fan of any job that wants to pay me to have 2 months off. I look forward to many more summers off. But along the lines of summer is that I wish we could take some time off when it wasn’t so dang hot…maybe like have October off and June off….yeah I like that idea.

I have been without cable TV for over a week, and I am kind of getting use to not having it. Kind of…..

I am leaving for a trip in a couple of days and I have already packed my suitcase mentally but not physically…is that weird?

Teaching abroad has become a recent idea for me. I have begun skimming the surface about this notion. I would LOVE to go somewhere that I could practice my Spanish. (No worries Pick, I am just toying with the idea)

I saw Twilight Saga: Eclipse and it was awesome. Definitely my favorite of the Twilight movies.

I am beginning to come to terms with my social networking addiction. I am realizing that I spend entirely too much time on Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube. It’s a problem for real y’all.

I guess that’s it for now.

Ok I lied, I just thought of something else. If there is anything that anyone out there is in need of prayer about please let me know. I am trying to become a better prayer warrior so I would be thrilled to lift the blogosphere up in prayer. Even if it is just to pray for someone’s unspoken prayer request. Just leave me a comment.

I Don’t Know What My Problem Is

This is the longest blogging slump I have ever been in. I don’t know what the problem is. I have TONS of amazing things going on in my life that I want to share. I have TONS of “issues” I would love to discuss. But still nothing.

I want to be brave like Amy Beth and talk about singleness. I want to be brave like Casey and talk about depression. I want to be wickedly witty like Bossy. I want to elequently express my beliefs like Angie.

But alas, I am none of those women. I am just me. So you fine readers reader, are stuck with me. I am not sure exactly what that “me” means right now. I’m working on it.

I Love My Daddy!

I love my Daddy for lots of reasons. He is more than I could ever wish for. My family and I would be lost without him. He truly is the best. I love him bunches and bunches, forever and forever.

He is oh so manly cutting down trees.  I mean, seriously, how cool is he.

 

I love you Daddy!

You wanna know where I’ve been, just ask my facebook.

The following is an excerpt of my Facebook status messages:

Ashley Duncan I'm still in disbelief that the year is over. August will be here quickly I'm sure...

Ashley Duncan I cannot believe today was the last day of school. It is really kind of surreal.

Ashley Duncan Blah. Yep that's all I got.

Ashley Duncan I mowed my yard for the very first time! I'd never used a lawn mower before! I feel so accomplished :D

Ashley Duncan Around here somewhere

Ashley Duncan Workin' hard for the money :)

Ashley Duncan Girls night out! Sex and the City 2!! :D

Ashley Duncan There is nothing cuter than a room full of 9 year olds singing to Kidz Bop radio...I love it! These kiddos just melt my heart sometimes. :D

Ashley Duncan Man this day has started off crazy....but I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me. :)

Ashley Duncan God is good. Always and Forever.

Ashley Duncan I am so happy for you Sarah!! You deserve it!! Yay employment!!

Ashley Duncan Dear Bad Mood, please go away! Thanks, Ashley

Ashley Duncan Last full week of school!!!

Ashley Duncan Working a double then PARTY!

Ashley Duncan Rumor has it that TAKS scores are in..... :-/

Ashley Duncan "Burnt out, I'm so numb now.
That the fire's just an ember way down in the corner of my cold, cold heart"

Ashley Duncan I'm starting to clean out and pack up my classroom. I cannot believe this year is practically over!

Ashley Duncan I'm tired and whiny today. Waaaahhhh!

Ashley Duncan It's only 8:30am but this definitely the quote of the day by my little darlings: "Did you know stress makes body fat, so Ms. Duncan, school makes you fat".

Ashley Duncan I woke up at 8 am on my own! What is that about?!

Ashley Duncan I am such the single girl stereotype at the grocery store. My cart consisted of frozen dinners and cat food. :-/

Ashley Duncan In the arms of Your mercy I find rest.

Ashley Duncan Today is field day. I have laryngitis and I'm hot....waaaahhhwaahhh! Someone call me a wambulance! ;-)

Ashley Duncan Today I had a little boy with Autism tell me to stop talking so I don't lose my voice forever. So I'm on silence until tomorrow.

Ashley Duncan Is the rehab for a Chuy's addiction? If there is, I definitely need to go..... ;-)

Yes, I am fully aware I update my status entirely to much.

Really?

Sometimes I look at my students and simply say, “Really?” This translate to: “Please tell that this is not really happening”. Well I had to tell my body “Really?”….because I have the flu…AGAIN.

                    

Friday I woke up at 6 am feeling like this poor dude:

Yep I had a fever of 102, a splitting headache, sore throat, extreme tiredness, and my body felt like I had been hit by a truck. It was some serious sickness. 

So I headed to the doctor to get some of this:

Thankfully I am feeling better. I have to go to school tomorrow since I am out of sick days thanks to the H1N1 flu I had in October.

This summer I think I am going to look into a doctor who specializes in boosting the immune system. It is just not normal for a person to get the flu TWICE! (Plus I got the flu shot dang it!)

Alright I am going back to my bed now. A little more rest never hurts, right? 

 **Photos courtesy of Wikipedia and tamiflu.com

Where Have YOU been?

This is the longest I have gone without posting something. I could fill this up with excuses, but I won’t. Because really, you don’t care. So instead I will fill this post with some lovely pictures of where I have been  lately. Enjoy these while I get back into the groove blogging regularly.

We Are SO Texan

This is not the “brave” post that I eluded to in my last blog; so that means I am still working up the nerve to post that other one. But in the mean time here is a post that proves my family and I are true Texans. :-)

We got us a truck and a four-wheeler.

We got us a deer feeder.

And we even got us a chainsaw.

God blessed Texas with His own hand. ;-)

Coming Soon

A new post is coming soon.

As soon as I have the guts to press the "Publish Post" button....

This Conversation Took a Weird Turn Somewhere

Text Message Conversation between my best friend and myself starting on January 4, 2010 at 9:17:53 PM

Me: Just an FYI for you- I hate sweaters and I want to move somewhere they are obsolete. Cause this Texas winter is letting me down...weeks of cold weather sucks.

Unit: So weird that it is so cold there- its like 50 here- just raining- crazy global warming :)

Me: Damn that global warming!

Unit: :)

January 4, 2010 9:34:39 PM

Unit: I never win nothing. :(

Me: huh?

Unit: Husband beats me at ALL games- its no fun!! Makes me a sad girl. :(

Me: That's cause he is ridiculously competitive!

Unit: Haha- yes it is! But then he says I am always nice when I win- but either way he is always winning- grrrrrrr

Me: Lets kick his butt! Tell him I said he is fired if he doesn't let you win!

Unit: Hahaha- he still won't let me!

Me: Then you must secretly practice :)

Unit: I do sometimes on the Wii then I feel all good about myself and he crushes my dreams- so sad

Me: Well y'all are just not Wii compatible, divorce is imminent....sorry ;-)

Unit: Oh No!!!

Me: Hahahahaha!! I am only teasing...sort of :D

January 4, 2010 9:56:37 PM

Unit: I just saw a huge block of jello on the Jack in the Box commercial- they were having a toga party and I thought man that would have been a crazy good idea :)

Me: LOL! That is the most random and most awesome text message ever! And yes that would have been a crazy good idea!

Unit: Haha- I figured you would appreciate it- I thought to myself 'Self you have got to tell the Unit about the ginormous block of jello!'

Me: You are cracking me up, I am seriously laying in bed laughing out loud like an idiot!

Unit: Hahahahaha! I am a funny girl! :)

Me: Its entirely possible that this entire text message convo is going to end up on my blog! Its too good not to share with the interwebs!

Wordless Wednesday- Don't Mess With Texas

So Much

I have so much I want to say but I'm scared. I feel like putting it out there makes it all the more real.

I'm going to try though, but just not right now.

So instead here is my first picture of 2010.

Marrying Off My Best Friend ;-) Hawaii Posts Part I

Like the best man said as we were walking back down the aisle, "Well all my friends are married now." Yep, its true. I married off my best friend. But she got herself a good one, and I guess we'll keep him. ;-)

Unit, you looked amazing!

BestFriendsForever

She only looks a little nervous, but absolutely gorgeous ;-)

Aww how cute are we!

Well it's done.......

And they lived happily ever after.....

Unit always remember what I told you on the night you got married, you will always be my best friend and I am here for you no matter what. We are a unit and no one can change that...not even a husband! :-)

True Story

Preface: After leaving my part-time job today, I decide I will go tan at the tanning salon. I told myself driving in the parking lot, "Self only tan in the level 1, you are out of upgrades. And you can't afford any more." I repeated this over and over.

Now on to the real story....

Tanning Boy: Hi welcome to (the place where I tan).

Me: Hi. (I hand over my scan card thing and scan my fingerprint)

Tanning Boy: Would you like to purchase any upgrades today, I see you're out?

Me: Umm.......

Tanning Boy: Level 3, 4 and 5 beds have new bulbs

Me: Ok you talked me into it. (I proceed to hand over my credit card)

Tanning Boy: Great, level 4 room 10 is all ready for you.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! I am such a sucker. I have ZERO self-control! All someone has to do is dangle something in my face and I pay up.

I tell you what though, I do love me some new bulbs. And the level 4 bed is my favorite. Yes, that is how I will rationalize this in my head. It is all worth it to be tan.....right?

Merry Christmas Y'all!

I pray that everyone had a great Christmas and that you are looking forward to the new year!

Love Y'all!

Blogging From The Tanning Bed Part 2.0

I don't know what it is lately but every time I get in the tanning bed, I have the urge to blog. I know that I said that I was going to give more details of my Hawaii trip (and I will) but right now I'm going to share some Oh My Goodness moments I had this past week.

First, I have made it through half of my first year teaching! I cannot even believe it! I am so happy and proud. I could not be happier with my job and I truly love my kids. I am so thrilled with all of it. :) So here's to us, Amber and Sarah, we did it!!!!!! We are teachers! It is still weird for me to say that! ;-)

Secondly, I feel like Christmas snuck up on me and bit me in the butt. I am so not prepared. I'm not ready. Can Christmas be next month, please?! I mean come on, I don't even have my tree up!

Thirdly (is that a word?), I'm old. I don't know when it happened but I'm old. I saw someone I haven't seen in like 6+ years and he looked older, and then it dawned on me that I must look older too. Because we are old. I know what you're thinking, but honestly I have been in denial . ;-)

Lastly, while I may not be ready for Christmas I am so ready for 2010. Bring it on new year! I'm ready!